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Sunday Bloody Sunday
Jul. 26th, 2009 | 05:50 pm
There's a place: my desk
I got a feeling: 
irritated
So all I really did today was just sit in front of my computer. Mum is terribly pissed off at me because I didn't "re-inform her" of the film I was in playing in the theatre a few days ago. She interprets this as my attempt to alienate her from my life. I'm glad I don't take my birthday seriously, cause it's been a shitty day because of her, haha! But I absolutely REFUSE to let her dramatic, overreacting self affect me like my grandma used to. She's becoming gran to a tee. Gran used to pull shit like this all the time: "you don't love me, you don't want me in your life, etc." Mum actually said to me today, in front of a bunch of people when she found out, "you really couldn't have done anything worse." Which was so ridiculous, it didn't deserve a retort. I think, well, unplanned pregancy, hitting a pedestrian, jail, manslaughter...I'm glad she walked away in a huff so I could laugh without getting in trouble.
For God's sake, I'm 28. I think it's just like that when someone's an only child. I'm her entire life. I can understand that, but she is THE QUEEN of overreacting and drama. Silly mum. She's been crying all day, slamming doors and yelling. I told everyone I wasn't feeling so well just so I wouldn't have to contend with her, not like I had anything planned anyway. I refuse to be manipulated. Although, she HAS manipulated me and is doing so as we speak. Or as I type, rather.
And so it's high time I moved out permanently.
Incidently, how much is too much when it comes to story twists? I'm awfully fond of them. My neighbour gave me some fruit. She's going to Cape Cod. It's time to take a walk and get some jawbreakers hurled at me.
For God's sake, I'm 28. I think it's just like that when someone's an only child. I'm her entire life. I can understand that, but she is THE QUEEN of overreacting and drama. Silly mum. She's been crying all day, slamming doors and yelling. I told everyone I wasn't feeling so well just so I wouldn't have to contend with her, not like I had anything planned anyway. I refuse to be manipulated. Although, she HAS manipulated me and is doing so as we speak. Or as I type, rather.
And so it's high time I moved out permanently.
Incidently, how much is too much when it comes to story twists? I'm awfully fond of them. My neighbour gave me some fruit. She's going to Cape Cod. It's time to take a walk and get some jawbreakers hurled at me.
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"I would never want to belong to a club that would have someone like me for a member."
Jul. 23rd, 2009 | 02:49 pm
There's a place: my desk
I got a feeling: 
hyper
So I had a dream last night that I got a huge studio loft. You know what's weird? Every single time my parents are in my dream, we're always fighting, and they're always being really terrible and horrible, and that's not how it is in real life, but always in my dreams. Weird.
Today I go off to house/pet-sit (not for the woman whose chair I thought I ruined), but for someone else, and then I have to drive all the way back into the city and past to make an audition for this cafe, and then back downtown to this festival afterparty with some local filmmakers who made the movies I was in that played this week possible.
I'm about to get new headshots, and a photographer friend (not the one I flirt/makeout with), is going to take some new ones. She told me my look is seriously typecasting me, and that I look like a brit rocker, and I need to generalise my look a bit more. I have to agree with this, and I'm going to miss my look with my supershort black fringe, but that's what needs to be done. Nothing wrong with change. She says I can stay edgy, but not go so harsh. I can get away with it if I were in a band, or back in the UK or Europe, or as an artist/photographer, but trying to get hired for films and such...maybe that's why I keep getting cast in slashers/cults.
I've been watching way too much Woody Allen and haunted town clips on youtube, because the weather is so fall-ish. It's so nice and cool here.
Finally paid that last bit of my med bills from back in December. Feels nice to pay something off. If I ever become rich, or win the lottery, I wonder if I would pay off my student loan in one go, just so I wouldn't have the burden any longer.
I wish the people I'm housesitting for had a pool. A convict escaped yesterday in my neighbourhood, and that really put a damper on my powerwalking schedule. And I'm starting to miss my grandma a lot. This cool weather is really bringing back memories of last year; just getting whiffs of something in the air, remembering back last year when all that was going down.
Today I go off to house/pet-sit (not for the woman whose chair I thought I ruined), but for someone else, and then I have to drive all the way back into the city and past to make an audition for this cafe, and then back downtown to this festival afterparty with some local filmmakers who made the movies I was in that played this week possible.
I'm about to get new headshots, and a photographer friend (not the one I flirt/makeout with), is going to take some new ones. She told me my look is seriously typecasting me, and that I look like a brit rocker, and I need to generalise my look a bit more. I have to agree with this, and I'm going to miss my look with my supershort black fringe, but that's what needs to be done. Nothing wrong with change. She says I can stay edgy, but not go so harsh. I can get away with it if I were in a band, or back in the UK or Europe, or as an artist/photographer, but trying to get hired for films and such...maybe that's why I keep getting cast in slashers/cults.
I've been watching way too much Woody Allen and haunted town clips on youtube, because the weather is so fall-ish. It's so nice and cool here.
Finally paid that last bit of my med bills from back in December. Feels nice to pay something off. If I ever become rich, or win the lottery, I wonder if I would pay off my student loan in one go, just so I wouldn't have the burden any longer.
I wish the people I'm housesitting for had a pool. A convict escaped yesterday in my neighbourhood, and that really put a damper on my powerwalking schedule. And I'm starting to miss my grandma a lot. This cool weather is really bringing back memories of last year; just getting whiffs of something in the air, remembering back last year when all that was going down.
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I am COLD, brrr...
Apr. 20th, 2009 | 09:25 pm
There's a place: my bed
I got a feeling: 
cold
So today I interviewed with the guy who does the baby photography at hospitals and I almost dropped the 's' word (not shit, screw). I really should stop cussing so much because it slips out a bit without me realising it.
Tomorrow is my cousin's funeral and I think we're all going out to eat or something afterward. Yesterday at the stupid wedding show I drank all this wine, but I got so sleepy and a little uninhibited that I ate a piece of cake.
Today my salon friend asked me to come by and do a couple shots of a girl-party-thing at the salon, and she was doing nails and stuff like that. One of the guests work for Oprah magazine. I know. We're going to send them all a cd with all my pics I took tonight along with my business card.
It is time for tea and more water and maybe some hummus. I also got word that a local theatre is hiring people to work on staff and as managers and stuff.
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A bad thing, and one good thing at the end
Apr. 17th, 2009 | 04:18 pm
There's a place: my bed
I got a feeling: sad
LP at the moment: Spearhead and Wendy Rene
Okay, so today we decided to take my cousin off his respirator and he died immedietely after. Basically, this disease has been present for a long time and he didn't follow up on it carefully. He was a bit wild and in denial, and that's not always a good combination. His mum seemed to be dealing with it better than I thought, but with things like this, it's always shock right at first and THEN hysteria. My mum went in there to be with him when he died. That's one thing I will not do. I have enough nightmares.
My other cousin, his brother, is making all the arrangements. He and I and my other cousin weren't especially close, but we were closer than some people and their family members. My family is fairly disfunctional.
It's amazing how life ends so quickly. How you can be really healthy and then die suddenly, or be in bad health and die when you're 90. I'm also thinking about who's going to be the next two, because deaths always always always come in threes. Every single time.
Tomorrow I may head out a bit southward with some friends for one of their birthdays. I should go to this acting thing, but I feel like being irresponsible (like I'm not already). Yesterday I got a bit of a wad from uncle Sam, which is gonna pay for one of my bills this month. One good thing comes from paying taxes.
Monday is the funeral and I also have a meeting that day with someone from a hospital who needs a baby photographer. Now, this is DEF NOT my forte, but I need some money and I'm rather desperate. I'm never around babies; I'm usually around irritating family members (who are usually dying) and professional models. I don't handle newborns, but I'm willing to bullshit a bit and have another new freelance job. I also have the first wedding of the season next saturday. Bleah, bleah.
Incidently, is it really obsessive and creepy to watch this three million times?
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I learned about sex from medical books
Apr. 15th, 2009 | 09:20 pm
There's a place: my bed
I got a feeling: 
anxious
LP at the moment: Amy Winehouse
So today we got a call from my aunt who told us my cousin (who I'm not very close to) has hemochromatosis, which is a genetic disease that messes with your iron levels. He was pretty sick and last night, he had a heart attack. Right now, he has damage to his organs and probably brain damage. We have no idea if he's gonna make it. I spent the morning/afternoon in the ICU. Everyone in my fam is now gonna get tested for this, because it can even be a recessive gene.
After that, I made my way downtown to the big hospital. Why, you ask? No, not from any hypochondria on my part. I am participating in a Student Programme, which means I will play different roles of "patients" in order for the pre-med students to practice interacting with patients and diagnosis. I sat in with a few actors (there were a few there I have been on sets with before and the coordinator is a talent agent who's in charge of lots around here) to see how the thing worked. Turns out, I really think I missed my calling as a MD. I found myself instead of concentrating on the acting part of the programme, I began mentally diagnosing the conditions. I diagnosed asthma, walking phneumonia and possible acute bronchitis, and finally depression and anxiety of the three "patients." Screw this art shit, I should go to fucking med school.
Except I'd be the kind of MD who would be doing a surgery and have an "oh fuck" moment, realising I left my watch inside the patient. I don't think they'd want me. Everything I have learned from the med profession is that I should be a patient rather than a physician.
I am praying like hell my cousin will be okay.
After that, I made my way downtown to the big hospital. Why, you ask? No, not from any hypochondria on my part. I am participating in a Student Programme, which means I will play different roles of "patients" in order for the pre-med students to practice interacting with patients and diagnosis. I sat in with a few actors (there were a few there I have been on sets with before and the coordinator is a talent agent who's in charge of lots around here) to see how the thing worked. Turns out, I really think I missed my calling as a MD. I found myself instead of concentrating on the acting part of the programme, I began mentally diagnosing the conditions. I diagnosed asthma, walking phneumonia and possible acute bronchitis, and finally depression and anxiety of the three "patients." Screw this art shit, I should go to fucking med school.
Except I'd be the kind of MD who would be doing a surgery and have an "oh fuck" moment, realising I left my watch inside the patient. I don't think they'd want me. Everything I have learned from the med profession is that I should be a patient rather than a physician.
I am praying like hell my cousin will be okay.
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I have to remember to pay my ticket...
Apr. 13th, 2009 | 10:45 pm
There's a place: my bed
I got a feeling: 
groggy
Okay, so the fam thing kinda sucked, but what sucked more was when mum had her little tantums before they arrived, which she does like clockwork before any kind of holiday. I spent the day cleaning and she still wasn't happy, because she's never happy unless she's bitching, stressed for no reason and bossing everyone around...and then my dad started in on me for no reason. He basically reprimanded me (I'm 27).
SO I took my keys and left. I went to get coffee and relaxed for about an hour and a half. I think it freaked them out a bit. I have never just walked out like that, and I'm glad. I'm not letting them run my life. I had a rather lovely time at Starbucks, where I got a lovely regular coffee.
It was a good thing my little "neice" was there; she makes the fam thing much better now that she's here. We had an egg hunt in my backyard. My bean soup turned out very good.
So I'm working a lot on my "novel;" I think it's a good sign when you kill someone off and you cry afterwards. Or if you write a really scary scene and it freaks you out. I have absolutely no idea where to go with it anymore.
Tomorrow I'm going to a lecture from a photographer who works for National Geographic. Whoot!
Today I submitted an application to be a baby photographer at a hospital. I know now I am desperate.
And oh shit, I have another overdue library book. I owe like, $10 in fines already. I don't think there's ever a time when I don't have a library fine.
SO I took my keys and left. I went to get coffee and relaxed for about an hour and a half. I think it freaked them out a bit. I have never just walked out like that, and I'm glad. I'm not letting them run my life. I had a rather lovely time at Starbucks, where I got a lovely regular coffee.
It was a good thing my little "neice" was there; she makes the fam thing much better now that she's here. We had an egg hunt in my backyard. My bean soup turned out very good.
So I'm working a lot on my "novel;" I think it's a good sign when you kill someone off and you cry afterwards. Or if you write a really scary scene and it freaks you out. I have absolutely no idea where to go with it anymore.
Tomorrow I'm going to a lecture from a photographer who works for National Geographic. Whoot!
Today I submitted an application to be a baby photographer at a hospital. I know now I am desperate.
And oh shit, I have another overdue library book. I owe like, $10 in fines already. I don't think there's ever a time when I don't have a library fine.
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What I did today
Apr. 11th, 2009 | 11:41 pm
There's a place: my bed
I got a feeling: 
accomplished
Okay, so today was freaking LONG. I got up at six, arrived at the filming for the trailer I'm gonna be in at eight. When they start filming the feature, they're gonna call US to be in it; we have first dibs. Yay! We shot three scenes and I didn't get home until about five. I ate a doughnut on the set and feel horrible about it. It was so freaking good. It was a lot of hurry up and wait; it always IS. Hung out with a couple cool people there, a few I've been on other sets with before, so it was good to see them again. On my way out, I found a parking ticket on my car. Fucking jerks need to give us leeway on saturdays.
Got home and worked on my "novel" a bit and killed off one of my main characters. I feel terrible and sad now. I may fix it and keep him alive, but when you keep writing and it turns into something like you're EXPERIENCING it yourself, you find things happen in your story you don't WANT, but it makes sense and is almost impossible to make it happen otherwise.
I then started cleaning for tomorrow, dyed easter eggs and painted each one with replicas by the great masters of French Impressionism. I have two Van Gogh's, a Degas, a Gauguin, a Monet and a Toulouse Lautrec. And two others, one of a painting I don't know by WHOM, and a springtime tree. After that, I cleaned some more, did laundry and started my black bean soup which I will be the primary eater of tomorrow when the fam comes over.
I now just have to mop the floor, finish my soup and consume the rest of my 64 oz of water. It is nineteen minutes til midnight. I don't think I did enough today.
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That thin line between stupid and clever
Apr. 9th, 2009 | 09:49 pm
There's a place: my bed
I got a feeling: lonely
Okay, so mum has decided that we ARE gonna have the fam over on Easter. I had previously convinced her to just go out to eat instead, cause I didn't feel like cleaning and doing the whole day-of-the-holiday shit: clean, clean some more, move stuff around, get this from downstairs, find the pretty glasses for this and that, listen to mum bitch and complain and sit around eating the only veggie dish I made myself while my family expresses concern about my eating habits and bitch about politics. It's the same crap every single time. Mum said, no, we're ARE going to have it this year, for personal reasons. Because gran is no longer here, I don't know if she's trying to hold on to the past, or what.
I had a dream about that last night. I dreamt that gran was alive again and I was gonna have to stay over there and take care of her again. And I woke up feeling horrible, because even though my gran was alive again, I didn't want to be a nurse again. It was seriously the hardest job/year of our lives, and even though in my dream she was alive again, I didn't want to do it. When gran died, it was a relief. Mum feels this way, too, so I don't feel like a total fuckrag. It's a very complicated senario. We had lived with gran for years until we all moved here, and she moved about a half mile from us and had been there since. Mum and gran had this love/hate thing, and gran was a huge presence, like it or not, in everyone's lives, telling us how to live, what home remedies cured this or that. She was my other mum. And when we had taken care of her last year when she was no longer able to move on her own, we gave up our lives and learned how to be nurses.
And I knew that when we put her in the nursing home last August, because we were just too tired, sick, beat up and exhuasted, I knew she wouldn't have much longer, because going into a home is a death sentence.
But when she did die, it was TIME, and I'm not gonna go into HOW I know this, because it's a very disturbing story. I've seen other cancer deaths, and this was something else.
Okay, enough about this. Nevertheless, we are having easter HERE, and I will have to whip up my black bean soup, because I won't have anything healthy and non-fattening to eat and I don't need them hassling me about not eating bread, ham and the rest.
I don't know why I'm suddenly feeling so lonely and morbid, so I'll just stay in denial, chalk it up to hormones and watch Spinal Tap on youtube.
I had a dream about that last night. I dreamt that gran was alive again and I was gonna have to stay over there and take care of her again. And I woke up feeling horrible, because even though my gran was alive again, I didn't want to be a nurse again. It was seriously the hardest job/year of our lives, and even though in my dream she was alive again, I didn't want to do it. When gran died, it was a relief. Mum feels this way, too, so I don't feel like a total fuckrag. It's a very complicated senario. We had lived with gran for years until we all moved here, and she moved about a half mile from us and had been there since. Mum and gran had this love/hate thing, and gran was a huge presence, like it or not, in everyone's lives, telling us how to live, what home remedies cured this or that. She was my other mum. And when we had taken care of her last year when she was no longer able to move on her own, we gave up our lives and learned how to be nurses.
And I knew that when we put her in the nursing home last August, because we were just too tired, sick, beat up and exhuasted, I knew she wouldn't have much longer, because going into a home is a death sentence.
But when she did die, it was TIME, and I'm not gonna go into HOW I know this, because it's a very disturbing story. I've seen other cancer deaths, and this was something else.
Okay, enough about this. Nevertheless, we are having easter HERE, and I will have to whip up my black bean soup, because I won't have anything healthy and non-fattening to eat and I don't need them hassling me about not eating bread, ham and the rest.
I don't know why I'm suddenly feeling so lonely and morbid, so I'll just stay in denial, chalk it up to hormones and watch Spinal Tap on youtube.
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Building a door (for opportunity to knock upon)
Mar. 3rd, 2009 | 12:07 am
There's a place: my bed
I got a feeling: 
hopeful
Okay, so yesterday I did another movie that is directed by this guy from India who did all this stuff in L.A. and now he's doing a sci fi here. I got to do a scene in a stairwell, up on the roof of a building and evacuating into a hovercraft. It was colder than eff. It's being filmed in this insanely-highdef red film (which I know absolutely nothing about). On the set I chatted up a bunch of local actors who know everyone. A very good networking op. I have decided to sign with a (free) agency after everyone told me I should. I'm so used to finding my own jobs/auditions.
Today I stopped by my friend's salon and she fixed my hair a bit, but I think I decided to go too short. It still looks really sci fi. Which is probably why I got picked to do the movie yesterday. The black is already washing out of my hair and I've washed it once since I've dyed it. I photographed a local model who told me about some of her connections, one of whom is looking for people who want to travel. To L.A.
My friend also knows one of the casting people who are working on that superbig movie that's filming here that I auditioned for and am still waiting for a reply. I have from now until the end of April to know if I got it. AND next Saturday is the audition for the cirque. I KNOW. I pinched some leftover mardigras makeup someone left in a cafe that's really wild and sparkly. I will use it for the audition.
And tonight I went to yet ANOTHER networking event and lo and behold I saw one of the actors I filmed with yesterday, an exec who's in charge of an award ceremony I'm shooting this next month and a photographer friend of mine who has a new studio I want to rent. I was actually NOT BORED. I think I'm in a new creative cycle where I'm actually accomplishing something. I chatted up a guy who called me right wing after I told him that we are the government's pawns (it's the TRUTH, and everyone knows it!) and was hit on by this old guy who's a truck driver. I've thought about this and I know why guys my age don't hit on me much: the only ones who attend the kind of functions I attend are either with their girlfriends or they are gay.
But of course I got home tonight and mum made sure to tell me she didn't like my hair and my business cards suck. (Okay, they're pretty old and most of the info on them is wrong.) I made myself feel better by eating a few girl scout cookies (damn, dad) and painted my nails red.
Tomorrow: work, thrift store (so I can buy a new throw-everything-in-it bag, cause the bowling bag I am still using is being held together with duct tape).
And last night was the first night in awhile I didn't drink my 64 oz of water a half hour before bed. So I didn't have to get up 5 times during the night to pee. I actually SLEPT.
My family life is falling apart, though. For some reason, everyone has gone mad and are fighting. There are legal problems, financial problems, conflicting opinion/beliefs, and no one can get their acts together. They're never happy unless there is some drama and shit-stirring going on. I'm in the midst of it all, trying to stay positive and trying to get myself OUT of here, doing SOMETHING with my pathetic existance. How I wish I can just pack it all up and travel with the circus, eating fire, swinging from trapezes.
Today I stopped by my friend's salon and she fixed my hair a bit, but I think I decided to go too short. It still looks really sci fi. Which is probably why I got picked to do the movie yesterday. The black is already washing out of my hair and I've washed it once since I've dyed it. I photographed a local model who told me about some of her connections, one of whom is looking for people who want to travel. To L.A.
My friend also knows one of the casting people who are working on that superbig movie that's filming here that I auditioned for and am still waiting for a reply. I have from now until the end of April to know if I got it. AND next Saturday is the audition for the cirque. I KNOW. I pinched some leftover mardigras makeup someone left in a cafe that's really wild and sparkly. I will use it for the audition.
And tonight I went to yet ANOTHER networking event and lo and behold I saw one of the actors I filmed with yesterday, an exec who's in charge of an award ceremony I'm shooting this next month and a photographer friend of mine who has a new studio I want to rent. I was actually NOT BORED. I think I'm in a new creative cycle where I'm actually accomplishing something. I chatted up a guy who called me right wing after I told him that we are the government's pawns (it's the TRUTH, and everyone knows it!) and was hit on by this old guy who's a truck driver. I've thought about this and I know why guys my age don't hit on me much: the only ones who attend the kind of functions I attend are either with their girlfriends or they are gay.
But of course I got home tonight and mum made sure to tell me she didn't like my hair and my business cards suck. (Okay, they're pretty old and most of the info on them is wrong.) I made myself feel better by eating a few girl scout cookies (damn, dad) and painted my nails red.
Tomorrow: work, thrift store (so I can buy a new throw-everything-in-it bag, cause the bowling bag I am still using is being held together with duct tape).
And last night was the first night in awhile I didn't drink my 64 oz of water a half hour before bed. So I didn't have to get up 5 times during the night to pee. I actually SLEPT.
My family life is falling apart, though. For some reason, everyone has gone mad and are fighting. There are legal problems, financial problems, conflicting opinion/beliefs, and no one can get their acts together. They're never happy unless there is some drama and shit-stirring going on. I'm in the midst of it all, trying to stay positive and trying to get myself OUT of here, doing SOMETHING with my pathetic existance. How I wish I can just pack it all up and travel with the circus, eating fire, swinging from trapezes.
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Can't get much worse
Dec. 2nd, 2008 | 11:26 pm
There's a place: my beddy
I got a feeling: bitchy
LP at the moment: Getting Better-The Beatles
So I'm scanning my laptop for baddies. Sometimes it gets overheated and turns off. Let's hope that doesn't happen, eh?
So last night I stayed up till past 3 talking to that darling of a fellow photographer whom I once did a shoot with, got pissed drunk with, flirted like mad with, and yet managed to keep my cool when he told me he was going to puke in my car and my passenger side window did not open.
I am going to another fashion shoot with him sometime soon. The reason he called me that one time was to get me to shoot a wedding for him because he was in jail for failing to pay parking tickets. He has bad luck with money, women and cars (the three things that men can't get enough of). I really don't think I should get involved with him on any level except mad flirting. He really is a darling and it's going to be hard to resist. He's a randy little sod.
So tomorrow I'm going to the doctor's because between me being a veggie and being thin, mum thinks I'm dying. Nevermind the fact that she's overweight, can't walk anywhere without getting sick and won't get a mamogram.
I wish I had some drinky, right now. I have wine in the pantry but I don't want to get off me bum and get it and open it. Right now I only have cold tea and carrots. I just want to get good and pissed.
And it's been weird that I remember my dreams every night. The past week I tried to have a kip and mum was laughing really loud and I heard her really well through our paperthin walls and she woke me up. Know why I got especially pissed off? I was having a sex dream, if you can believe it. Well, actually a penis dream. Yeah. I'm confused, also.
What does all this mean? That I'm tired of living with my parents? That I should just give up and do whatever mum wants me to, just like her own mother tried to do to HER her entire life? That I should get it on with the lovely borderline-alcoholic-jail-bound photographer friend of mine?
So last night I stayed up till past 3 talking to that darling of a fellow photographer whom I once did a shoot with, got pissed drunk with, flirted like mad with, and yet managed to keep my cool when he told me he was going to puke in my car and my passenger side window did not open.
I am going to another fashion shoot with him sometime soon. The reason he called me that one time was to get me to shoot a wedding for him because he was in jail for failing to pay parking tickets. He has bad luck with money, women and cars (the three things that men can't get enough of). I really don't think I should get involved with him on any level except mad flirting. He really is a darling and it's going to be hard to resist. He's a randy little sod.
So tomorrow I'm going to the doctor's because between me being a veggie and being thin, mum thinks I'm dying. Nevermind the fact that she's overweight, can't walk anywhere without getting sick and won't get a mamogram.
I wish I had some drinky, right now. I have wine in the pantry but I don't want to get off me bum and get it and open it. Right now I only have cold tea and carrots. I just want to get good and pissed.
And it's been weird that I remember my dreams every night. The past week I tried to have a kip and mum was laughing really loud and I heard her really well through our paperthin walls and she woke me up. Know why I got especially pissed off? I was having a sex dream, if you can believe it. Well, actually a penis dream. Yeah. I'm confused, also.
What does all this mean? That I'm tired of living with my parents? That I should just give up and do whatever mum wants me to, just like her own mother tried to do to HER her entire life? That I should get it on with the lovely borderline-alcoholic-jail-bound photographer friend of mine?
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Yesterday...and Today
Nov. 15th, 2008 | 10:29 pm
There's a place: my super-comfy bed
I got a feeling: 
indifferent
I spent the first part of my day watching opera auditions downtown with mum; she keeps hounding me to audition. When you choose to do opera, it's your life. I'm not sure I want that commitment. The second part of my day was taken up with filming a local movie, directed by this guy who works for MTV. Must say that's a career op if anything. It's a slasher/spoof. Mum was scared I was cast in a snuff film. I also must say she is the one who has me become a bit of a hypertense, neorotic nutter.
And I'm very glad she and dad are going off on a few-day holiday tomorrow. It's VERY rare I get the house to myself for a few hours a week, let alone days at a time. I don't think I'd take advantage of it like [Unknown LJ tag]
And I'm very glad she and dad are going off on a few-day holiday tomorrow. It's VERY rare I get the house to myself for a few hours a week, let alone days at a time. I don't think I'd take advantage of it like [Unknown LJ tag]
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Drama and flirting with the ghosts
Oct. 26th, 2008 | 09:51 pm
There's a place: my bed
I got a feeling: groggy
LP at the moment: Yeah Yeah Yeahs
So last evening was gran's memorial, and I spent the evening being exhausted, because I was in charge of organising so much, and afterwards had to mix with some relatives who came into town, most of whom I dislike because of family dramas I am not involved in. Because I'm a nice person, yet I know all the backstory shite that went on, I had to play nice and pretend I liked everyone, and little did they know I KNEW about the crap so-and-so pulled with so-and-so, and they thought I was in the dark. Just once I couldn't resist, when my gran's sister told me a story about how gran did this or that to her when they were kids. I smiled and said, "yeah, gran used to tell me about all the stuff YOU used to pull with HER." And my aunt got all huffy and I felt good. Ha! I don't like her so I don't care. And really. Bringing up shit from when you were KIDS? What is up with all this highschool drama?
After all this, my other cousin and I promptly went to a haunted house downtown that would've been greatly improved if we had some jeager bombs. I did not get any ghoul's numbers, although I DID try. I don't think they're allowed to score dates on the job. We then legged it all over town and hit two gay bars, which we did NOT intend to do. My cousin is not from the city, so I had to educate him on some gay specs.
In the midst of all this, a friend of mine called, whom I fancy a bit. I did a shoot with him last year where we both got bladdered as hell and had a total blast flirting like mad. And NO, I do NOT facebook stalk him. He's a darling, though.
Sadly, I think he rang me for a job. I casually waited till today to return his call and I haven't heard from him.
So I went to a free Italian documentary tonight at a campus cinema. Tomorrow I shall try my best to do something with PEOPLE and FRIENDS, instead of going somewhere by myself. I really do try.
After all this, my other cousin and I promptly went to a haunted house downtown that would've been greatly improved if we had some jeager bombs. I did not get any ghoul's numbers, although I DID try. I don't think they're allowed to score dates on the job. We then legged it all over town and hit two gay bars, which we did NOT intend to do. My cousin is not from the city, so I had to educate him on some gay specs.
In the midst of all this, a friend of mine called, whom I fancy a bit. I did a shoot with him last year where we both got bladdered as hell and had a total blast flirting like mad. And NO, I do NOT facebook stalk him. He's a darling, though.
Sadly, I think he rang me for a job. I casually waited till today to return his call and I haven't heard from him.
So I went to a free Italian documentary tonight at a campus cinema. Tomorrow I shall try my best to do something with PEOPLE and FRIENDS, instead of going somewhere by myself. I really do try.