Lifestyles of the penniless and obscure - What happened

I swore I was going to be productive today and promptly logged into my computer and started a job application at a local museum. Found a perfect entry level position available, go me! So I am filling out all the standard job applicant stuff, which is enough of a headache, and the pages just go on and on...and on and on...I was frowning at the ethical questions they were throwing my way via computer screen. "Do you think the youth of our age is doomed to burn in blazing eternal fires?" "Are you a sadist who must be right at all costs, and do you enjoy expressing these urges with whips and chains?" I might be exaggerating a BIT, but THOSE were the underlying meanings...and to make things WORSE:

They effing made me take an INTELLEGENCE test! Those shitty "If some pooples are crapples and most crapples are shittles, then how many shittles are pooples?" After I FINALLY got to submit the effing thing, I needed to rest. I should've gotten paid for going through it.

I later headed downtown for a free lecture and lo and behold, the building was closed. So I made my way back homeward where I went out to eat with mum and her friend. They didn't have any good vegetarian soup (I hatehatehate squash), so I ate a huge salad with a side of pineapple and melon whilst looking wistfully at my mum's friend's double chocolate ice cream mound.

I come home to find a spider hanging out at my doorway, wanting in. I killed one of it's posse on the wall a week or so ago, and evidently the spider fam has gotten wind of the homicide. I see these spiders in my doorway ALL THE TIME now, just waiting at the crack, about to dart in to hide and eventually crawl up my nose to eat my brains in the dead of night for being the bitch spider-smusher I am. Even if you swat them away, they just come back, and even if you stomp centemetres away from them, they just smirk and look the other way. Little arseholes.